04:19: I think she says お昼まで? so consider “while we were out” → “in the morning” and at 04:37, “they’re no longer coming in”
08:20: Reading the subs, I thought this was about Mahopre episode 44 (also mentioned/shown in Mirai Days episode 5 at 05:43–06:48). But the visuals (with adult Mirai/Liko) and the audio (with 五年ぶりに逢って) suggest this is about Mahopre episode 50 (also shown in Mirai Days episode 8 around 06:31–37), so consider rewriting this line: make it into active tense (Haa-chan did it intentionally, as opposed to an external actor or an accident), and perhaps add “when we reunited” for the 五年ぶりに逢って part.
09:08: She’s swapping only the soy sauce with the pepper, while the subs make it sound like she’s reassigning the role of the salt, too. The salt already is NMW, so she’s saying pepper would be a better choice for MW as it’d complete the pair.
09:46: I think she’s rather trying to say: “Both of those options (MW and NMW) have already been investigated, and no sign of him was found.”
13:18: consider “Yep” → “Oh”, because it seems that she breaks the silence with this line (rather than respond to anything said previously)
Thanks as always! Most of those were mainly simplifications on my part, to not make things too wordy per line. But I will definitely take another look at those places for the v2 subs!
Oh, I forgot to add for 08:20: …and change “little kids” to just “kids” or “middle schoolers” to avoid making them sound too young.
(Actually, why does the flashback show Haa-chan in pain as well? She didn’t change at all at that time… Toei pls, the show is so good—including the flashbacks—but what’s with some of them?)
Even when such things are trivial nitpicks, they still help me make the final batch as high quality as possible. Tiny improvements that make the dialogue flow more naturally, or make more sense in the big picture
Comments - 9
DmonHiro
Thank you so much.
Nokou
Thanks.
Chortos-2
Thank you!
04:19: I think she says お昼まで? so consider “while we were out” → “in the morning” and at 04:37, “they’re no longer coming in”
08:20: Reading the subs, I thought this was about Mahopre episode 44 (also mentioned/shown in Mirai Days episode 5 at 05:43–06:48). But the visuals (with adult Mirai/Liko) and the audio (with 五年ぶりに逢って) suggest this is about Mahopre episode 50 (also shown in Mirai Days episode 8 around 06:31–37), so consider rewriting this line: make it into active tense (Haa-chan did it intentionally, as opposed to an external actor or an accident), and perhaps add “when we reunited” for the 五年ぶりに逢って part.
09:08: She’s swapping only the soy sauce with the pepper, while the subs make it sound like she’s reassigning the role of the salt, too. The salt already is NMW, so she’s saying pepper would be a better choice for MW as it’d complete the pair.
09:46: I think she’s rather trying to say: “Both of those options (MW and NMW) have already been investigated, and no sign of him was found.”
13:18: consider “Yep” → “Oh”, because it seems that she breaks the silence with this line (rather than respond to anything said previously)
(13:24: beautiful)
14:39: singular cloud
serenae (uploader)
Thanks as always! Most of those were mainly simplifications on my part, to not make things too wordy per line. But I will definitely take another look at those places for the v2 subs!
Chortos-2
Oh, I forgot to add for 08:20: …and change “little kids” to just “kids” or “middle schoolers” to avoid making them sound too young.
(Actually, why does the flashback show Haa-chan in pain as well? She didn’t change at all at that time… Toei pls, the show is so good—including the flashbacks—but what’s with some of them?)
serenae (uploader)
Right, there are some possible continuity errors there…
And yep, the line I have for that now is
zrdb
Who cares about such trivial errors? It’s damn good enough as it is-why be such a nitpicker?
serenae (uploader)
Even when such things are trivial nitpicks, they still help me make the final batch as high quality as possible. Tiny improvements that make the dialogue flow more naturally, or make more sense in the big picture
rusty_mst
ty!